Day of Unrest

Why is it that the one day a week that is supposed to be quiet, restful, spiritual, etc. always seems the most chaotic?  It doesn't matter what time I get up in the morning on Sundays lately, we are always a few minutes late.  We would have been on time today but Lucy started screaming when we were getting her dressed and I had to stop and nurse her to get her calmed down.  Then, in the middle of sacrament meeting, Lucy had a blow out.  It not only COVERED her cute dress, it got all over her blanket and Jeremy.  So I whisked her away to the mothers' room and changed her into the spare onesie from her diaper bag.  Jeremy wiped up as best as he could.  He figured it didn't matter too much if he smelled like poop since he was going to be in the nursery with poopy kids anyway.  Third hour was a mess since I was the only presidency member there today.  The Laurels were meeting with RS, so I was trying to make sure YW opening exercises went smoothly while making sure the Laurels all got to RS, all while Lucy was crying because she was hungry.  Fed Lucy, went back to RS with the Laurels and not THREE minutes later Lucy pooped again.  Seriously?!  So I got up again, changed her again, and went back to RS again.  Ten minutes later she was crying again so I took her out to the hallway where we stayed for the rest of church.

It was one of those "why did I bother to come?" Sundays...except for those few minutes I got to be in RS.  The lesson was on "Being Anxiously Engaged".  They were talking about service and how we should serve willingly and with a happy heart, but that sometimes we try to do too much and that just becomes overwhelming and causes stress, and then we have negative attitudes about it.  Someone mentioned how we have times and seasons for things.  This is something I have really struggled with lately.  YW is very time demanding.  Along with Sundays and Wednesdays, it seems there is always a fireside, or dance, or camp meeting, or temple trip, or something.  All that would be fine if I didn't have three small kids and work full time.  It is very hard for me to try and balance church and home and not feel bad for giving one more time than the other.  I know this is why we have more than one member in the presidency, but I put a lot of pressure on myself to do everything.  And I always feel like if I don't do something people will look at me like I am a horrible leader.

The lesson was a great reminder for me that right now my time and season is having small children.  We do not take couples vacations without the girls, I don't go to movies because I don't want to take Lucy in there (ok, that's not much of a sacrifice- I hate going to the movies), and we always put the girls' needs and wants over our own (I really need a haircut but can't seem to find the time to get one).  What has been hard for me is to realize this applies to my calling as well.  I had been having major anxiety about what to do with Lucy during girls' camp.  She is pretty clingy to me right now, and we haven't even tried her with a bottle yet.  When we found out Jeremy has to go out of town that same week it was kind of an answer to my prayers because the decision was made for us.  I just can't go.  As much as I would like to be there for the YW it just isn't going to happen.  And that's ok.  Maybe later in life, in another time and season, I will have another opportunity to go.  Anyway, just something I've been thinking about a lot lately and I was so appreciative and grateful for the reminder today.