The Worst Week, Part 1

After the night we had on the 4th of July we were ready to get home and try and get back to a normal routine.  Wednesday morning I got up and went straight to the office to start catching up on all my work.  Like normal, Lucy woke up and I got her a waffle and juice and she came up to eat her breakfast and watch Disney Jr. under my desk.  Shortly after, Jeremy came up to start work.  I had commented to him about how I barely got any sleep because Lucy had come down in the middle of the night and she is a dang heater.  He commented back that he had barely slept either, but he wasn't sure why.  He just kept waking up with a weird feeling.  Just then he hopped up and said he had to take a call.  I just assumed it was his boss or an important client. 

I will never in my life forget the next moments of our lives.  I have never seen Jeremy in so much pain and panic and despair, and I hope we never again have to experience that kind of emotion.  A couple minutes later Jeremy ran into the room.  He was crying and hyperventilating and I everything happened so fast I can't remember what all was said, I just remember him saying his mom had found his dad and I was screaming, "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! WHAT HAPPENED?  WHAT HAPPENED?!".  Worst moment of our lives.

So what did happen was that Jeremy's dad had liver cancer a couple years ago.  They removed part of his liver and he was in remission.  We had no idea he hadn't been feeling well for over 5 months.  He seemed fine when we saw him at Easter.  And we talked to him fairly frequently.  But apparently he had been feeling tired and weak and he passed away in his sleep.  We opted not to have an autopsy done, but they told us they were certain his liver was probably severely damaged and he passed away from liver failure.

We raced to do laundry that we still hadn't done from our trip to Beaumont/Galveston, re-packed the car, made a quick trip to mom and dad's to give them all the produce I had just bought at the store, filled up on gas and left at 4 am to get to Slidell.  The next two days were spent scouring Jeremy's mom's house for his dad's will.  He had mentioned to us numerous times that he had a will and it spelled out exactly who got what, so we knew it had to be there somewhere.  Finally I asked if anyone had checked the desk in his room (I thought it had drawers)- they had been looking in the garage in all of his things.  They went back in the room and found it on the bookshelf next to the desk!  It was such a moment of relief. 

We honored his father's wishes and had him cremated without any type of memorial or service.  I almost feel like it was better/easier/somehow less painful that way.  I can't imagine the pain and agony one of us would have endured trying to figure out what to say.  I am quite positive Jeremy would not have been able to make it through. 

Jeremy and Kevin went through everything and divided it up according to the will. Sunday night my mom flew into New Orleans and helped me drive the girls home.  It was a long drive and I am so thankful my mom was there to help.  I am sure I couldn't have done it without her.

Jeremy packed his dad's car full- which included not only his dad's ashes but his grandfather's as well- and drove it home the next day.  It has been a hard week trying to sort though records and make decisions.  Harder still to sort through belongings and realize just how much Jeremy was like his dad.  They were both incredibly sentimental- like keeping all his concert tickets, the sasparilla root beer bottle from when they went to the fair in Jackson, keeping every single card, picture, and letter from the girls.

Each day it has gotten a smidgen easier, though I don't think it will ever be ok.  My heart breaks for Jeremy and the pain he is enduring having lost his dad, especially unexpectedly.  I only pray he knows what a wonderful son he is and that his dad loved him and was proud of him.