Relief

The past three weeks have been stressful, to say the least.  After 5 years, I FINALLY went back to the neurologist for a follow up.  I know I should have gone back sooner, but I finally made the appointment when I started having some strange symptoms- tightness in my forearms/hands, dizziness, seeing "tracers" or "floaters", memory loss, slight stuttering, etc.  So I met with the neurologist and he was concerned and ordered a barrage of tests.  Blood work, an MRI of my head and neck, an ultrasound of my carotid artery and heart, an EEG, and an EMG.  (By the way...EMG's are not very fun.  Basically they shock you and it charts the reactions.) 

I tried to remain calm throughout the testing process, trying not to think too much of it.  The first two weeks I really couldn't think about it- Jeremy had two business trips, and then his boss was in town one week so he was with him every night, I had a week of meetings every day, plus our normal crazy day-to-day routine.  But this last week was hard.  There was more time to sit and think about the possibilities.  I knew that he was testing for MS (which my great aunt, dad, and sister have) or ALS (which my grandpa had- he died on my 8th birthday).  On top of that, this doctor's office has an online tracking thing, which can be really helpful in terms of setting up appointments, getting refills, etc., but part of it actually shows you what they put on your chart from your appointments.  I had been so busy the first two weeks that I didn't register until this week, and when I did, I saw that he had written down that I could be having mini strokes, which is really scary considering I have Factor V. 

Put all of this together with my very vivid imagination and you can only guess what a mess I was.  Suffice it to say it was not good.  I knew if it was mini-strokes or MS I could handle it.  But ALS?  That is scary and terminal.  I cried thinking about Jeremy re-marrying and the girls not remembering me.  I thought about how I would write letters to them but that wouldn't be enough. 

I finally had my follow up today, and EVERYTHING IS OK.   Ahhhh...relief!  He even compared my MRI to the one I had 5 years ago, and he thinks the issue with my pineal gland that was spotted then was a fluke because the MRI now looks great.  I do have some bulging discs and probably arthritis in my neck, which might be contributing to the pain I am having in my arm, so he is sending my to PT for that.  What a blessing though for that to be the only issue!  I still don't have an explanation for the other symptoms I was having, but I am just relieved right now and really thankful for answered prayers.